Blast Off!

Dudes,
Have you ever been on a quest? I feel like I'm currently on one, but the problem is I haven't found the Quest Booklet. I'm not sure if such a thing exists, but the word "quest" makes me think of Zelda, so there must be some kind of book of magic potions that comes along with these types of adventures. I don't remember if there are magic potions in Zelda or not, but it sounds right in my head. I played video games when I was a wee lad, but I was much more interested in riding around the house on my horse that was actually a baseball bat with strings tied around it for reigns.

My dad has always been the kind of dude that thought, "Why go out and buy the real thing when I can make my kids hate me instead?" Juuuuust kidding. He just doesn't believe in excess, and I've grown to greatly admire him for that. He still doesn't have cable television...doesn't believe in it. When we used to take our once-a-month trips out to a restaurant we all knew the conditions: Everyone gets water and don't even glance at the dessert menu. To this day, whenever he gets coffee at a McDonald's drive-thru he asks if it comes with some free french fries. I'm sure growing up poor really sucked for him, but the scars from his childhood suffering now provide me with great entertainment. Thanks, pop.

Why is it that you're able to quickly forget some people that were in your life for a long time, but it's equally impossible to forget some who were in it for just a short period? The cynical side of me says it's because the "short period" people weren't in my life long enough to make me dislike them, but I'm growing tired of my cynical side and think he should shut his damn mouth. There are some people who make an instant impression, and no matter how much time goes by they will always be in your life in one way or another- even if the only relationship you have with them is in your imagination. I'm sure that sounds creepy, but I'm attempting to be deep and insightful here. Don't ruin it.

Whatever...you ruined it.

Stay away from the chili verde
Unless you want to get blown away
Treat the spider with a little respect
You take the heat – it’s gonna bite back

Blast Off at Cape Canaveral
Toilet seat is your launching pad
Blast Off at Cape Canaveral
4-3-2-1 Blast Off!

Capsaicinoids are a thing to avoid
Unless you want to burn in that ‘roid
We’ll be laughing and rolling on the floor
When we hear you screaming through that door

Blast Off at Cape Canaveral
All Systems Go!
Blast Off at Cape Canaveral
4-3-2-1 Blast Off!

Jalapeño, habañero
Burning all your hair down there-o
Picinu, vindaloo
They’re gonna getcha, they’re gonna getcha, too

You know those red things in the Kung Pao
Don’t say I didn’t warn you now
Take the time to pick them out
Or the spider gets grouchy
And it’s time to countdown!

Blast Off at Cape Canaveral
Houston, we have a problem…
Blast Off at Cape Canaveral
4-3-2-1 Blast Off!