Do you ever wish you could just remove your brain from your body and not think about anything for a few hours? Well I do, and I'm wishing it right now. I've been stuffing my mind with new information for the past week or so and now my brain is fighting back. It's sick of it.
The problem is the kind of things I stuff my brain with are really burdensome but mostly useless facts. I get totally consumed with sucking in information about religious, philosophical, scientific, and metaphysical nonsense. Of course it's not actually nonsense, but right now I genuinely feel like it is. I weigh myself down with this stuff that constantly swirls around in my tired mind, and there doesn't seem to be any actual benefit to learning it. All I get out of it is being able to snicker to myself when someone is talking about something that they think they know about, but really they are just regurgitating some piece of ignorance that they heard somewhere else. Yay me for getting to be an arrogant dick. It's the classic struggle between who I am (smug asshole) and who I want to be (an abominable snowman).
I want to talk about birds. They make me happy. Did you kids know that there are over 82 million birdwatchers in the United States? I must've missed that bandwagon the first few times it came around, but I'm jumping on it next time I see it. Seriously, think about all the pointless hobbies that people take up like metal detecting, stamp collecting, or playing with their children. Let's get rid of these fruitless activities. They're garbage. Now have you ever taken the time to just sit for a minute and watch a bird go about its business? Well you should. They are fascinating little creatures. They hop around and peck things and eat worms out of the ground. PLUS they fly! Can you fly? Nope. I'm telling you...the birds are on to something.
If I were an Ostrich, Emu, Penguin, or Kiwi I would be pissed.
I would love to have a pet bird, but I could only have one if its wings weren't clipped and I could give it room to fly. Seriously, how can anyone stick a bird in a cage with a clear conscience? "Hey bird, you know that one special thing that you can do that defines your entire species? I'm not going to let you do that." Every bit of instinct inside of birds (minus those I listed above) tells them to fly. What kind of monster would take that away from them?!! Selfish bastards!!! You can't see me but I'm shaking my fist at you.
Look how majestic!
Wow.
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