My friend,
If you need constant reassurance of how special, attractive, talented, and artistic you are then you're probably not really any of those things. You're a big fish in a microscopic pond, and the things you have yet to learn will crush you. You don't walk, talk, sing, write, live, breathe on your own because you don't have to, yet you need the world to know who you are. You are no one. You are broken glass. If I had only known then what I know now.
Your mind and your words are full of pretty little thoughts that tell you how innocent and victimized you are. You flash whatever you want to whoever you need and then rape them. You're a user and you're full of fire. Liars don't take what they are aware of. They steal small bits of spirits until they have created their idol of hatred and lovers.
You believe in burning bushes, minor prophets, and foreign tongues, but the articulation of snakes makes you spit horse shit. You're a fucking goddess waste.
Make yourself a child bride of a charmer. I'll be the first thing you see when the prince shows himself.
I poured myself out to the beauty and you recoiled.
I gave, I gave, I gave, I gave. You took.
I don’t know if you want to hear them, but I know I want to to say them. Your words are beautiful. Your words can be so heart achingly gorgeous, and some of them are so very funny. You have the ability to be a writer, and anything else for that matter. You are a writer. You started with words that were funny and witty and very much like a blog. Your recent words stole my breath. You’ve moved from writing to a potential audience to writing the words in your head, in your heart, words that needed to be written. It it so easy to picture them fighting their way out of you. I don’t know to what degree you question your talent, or ability, or the worth of your words. I don’t know who made you question. Well, not all of them anyway. I know that sometimes I physically want to hurt the ones I know hurt you. More than that, I want you to know that you are worth it all. Every smile, every tear, every fear, every doubt, every hope and every dream. You are incredible, much like your words. I hope that you keep writing, for yourself, not for everyone else. I hope that people read your words and are as affected by them as I.
ReplyDeleteMultiple-choice question:
ReplyDeleteIn a duel, what are you trying to do to your opponent?
A. Kill him
B. Dazzle him with your fancy word--uh, swordplay
Words wound or heal, crush and mend, confuse or clarify, bind and release. Words can turn a friend into an enemy or make an enemy a friend.
ReplyDeleteSwords only kill.
You've misapplied the analogy, YoMa. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlright, how so?
ReplyDeleteEither your analogy is too vague or I'm just stoooopid.
ReplyDeleteA duel could be meant to kill or just draw blood, to incapacitate or merely frighten. Words do all of those and more.
Right answer: A or B.
In a sword fight, the one who tries to dazzle the other with his brilliant swordplay is likely to lose. While he's making a show of his skills, his more intent opponent is killing him. At very best, he's not achieving the goal of the duel.
ReplyDeleteIt dawns on the aspiring author eventually that object of writing is to communicate.
The dueler faces one opponent; he doesn't battle the onlookers. Similarly, the writer addresses a specific audience. I suspect that Johan's intended audience not only knows who she is but also clearly understands his meaning.
ReplyDeletemikespeir, this is where you say, "Touché!"
You suspect?
ReplyDeleteNow you're just picking. Besides, you're s'posed to say touché.
ReplyDeleteThing is, your analogy wasn't great. I actually tried to think up another one to better illustrate your point, but in the end, neither your analogy nor your point is really valid.
The goal of an ancient duel was not usually to kill, but to defend honor - by drawing 'first blood' or till one of the combatants yielded or couldn't physically continue. The final goal was not always the same.
In writing, there are various goals and varied audiences. Maybe the writer doesn't care if everyone 'gets it', as long as his intended audience does. So, yes - I 'suspect', 'reason', 'ponder the possibility'... that Johan's intended audience 'gets it', and maybe that's all that matters to him.
The ol' private message in a public forum trick, huh? And then complain when the public points out that you don't seem to be saying anything?
ReplyDeleteOkay, "Touché."
(Apologies to Johan for eating up your comment section, but you expect it by now when YoMa and YoUnc get arguing!)
ReplyDeletemikespeir:
A blog is somewhat public, BUT it belongs to the blog creator.
The ol' private message in a public forum trick is used all the time, you know that. Even by paid writers - grinding their own ax, airing grudges publicly - not unusual at all. Why not in a personal blog?
Anyway, it's ALL public these days. Look at Facebook! You've probably read more personal information there than you EVER wanted to know, and I bet it doesn't all make sense to you either.
Well, thanks for the touché; it's nice to get.
I know when I'm touché'd. Usually. I may not admit it....
ReplyDelete(BTW, "Johan," write to communicate. And while we're at it, why not "Johannes"? Like Brahms. I like Brahms. :-) )