Zoroaster makes me boogie

Dudes,
Here's how this is supposed to go. I write stuff that entertains my dumb brain, and then I laugh about it for the next few days. This formula is not working. I've gained three followers and one of them is my mother. I like that my mother likes me, but if she loved me she would make me enchiladas this week. That's a request, ma.

So I've prohibited myself from making this a soccer blog, but something pretty amazing happened this weekend. Manchester City beat Arsenal 1-0, and I just happened to be watching the match with a few Arsenal fans. Terry Body Floyd Diffin Bifkin just happens to be the biggest Arsenal supporter I know, and he had to eat every bit of shit-talking he did before the game. I blended it into a delightful little Manchester City Milkshake so it would go down a bit smoother. I'm a benevolent conqueror...like Cyrus the Great. 

If you're not familiar with the Persian king, Cyrus, then I encourage you to look him up. He ruled Persia during the 500s BC and amassed a gigantic empire that stretched from the Mediterranean Sea to the Indus River. It was the largest empire the world had ever seen. But that's not what makes him amazing. He was also a benevolent king who allowed conquered peoples to practically live as they had always lived and even let them practice their own religions. This has particular relevance for the folks who appreciate Judeo-Christian traditions. The Jews were one of the groups who were conquered by Cyrus, and He and the Persian people had a profound effect on Judaism and Christianity to this day. Cyrus was so kind to the Jews that when he told them they could return to their homeland many of them didn't even want to go. In the Book of Isaiah Cyrus is even referred to as "The Lord's anointed." This is a man who was the king of a supposedly barbaric, ungodly, and pagan people. Hmmm....what kinds of lessons could modern Christians learn from this??

The effect of the Persians on Judaism and Christianity is immense and very consequential. Do you believe in hell? If you do you should probably figure out why you do and where the idea of a fiery hell came from. Spoiler- it came from the Persians. Bible lesson over.

I went out and danced like an idiot for about 3 hours last night. It's even better that the only other people around were 3 dudes and a married girl. It was the most fun I've ever had with a downtown sweater on. IZOD!