Those last two posts only served selfish purposes and were obviously aimless ramblings. But hey, you know what? I liked them both...mostly because I'm god-like and can practically do no wrong. EXCEPT!! I've once again, against my better judgment, shaved my beard off. I look like a lumpy gerber baby without facial hair. It's heinous.
My mother gave me a block of wood for Christmas. It's the best gift I've gotten in recent memory. This wooden block happens to have an eagle carved on it, and I've pretty much convinced myself that it's an original art piece by Sitting Bull. I'm also certain it's an authentic war trophy taken by General Custer at Little Bighorn. The Abbot and Costello look-a-like contest winners on American Pickers have already offered me $6, but I think I can get $300,000.
So how about that college football? Boring.
There are a few super trustworthy, non-lunatics who think the world is going to end this year. It's about damn time. Has anyone looked around lately? This place is a dump. Plus, Terry Bifkin and I didn't get our ketchup today at Bojangles. Let me explain this. We did not ask for ketchup. The drive through gal asked us if we wanted ketchup. We said yes. Well, actually I said yes because Terry and all my other hipster friends think only fat, mouth-breathing, God-fearin', Middle-Americans eat ketchup. But whatever...not the point. We were specifically asked and we specifically stated "YES" we would like some ketchup. So we drive back to Terry's house to watch Arsenal lose again (nice), and there is NO ketchup. SHEEEE!!! ASKEDDD!!! USSSS!!! I really cannot wrap my head around this....
Bojangles drive-thru gal to awesome dudes: "It'll be $10.73. Y'all want ketchup?"
Awesome dudes: "Uhh.. yeah"
Bojangles drive-thru gal to other Bojangles worker bee: "Yeah they said they want ketchup."
Bojangles worker bee: "We ain't got no ketchup."
Bojangles drive-thru gal: "There you go. Y'all have a good one."
Awesome dudes: "Thanks, you too."
...............Awesome dudes get home: "WTF?"
Hearts were broken today at that drive-thru, and no one wants to see that happen ever again, especially the Mayans. They looked into the future, and they saw the kinds of shocking things that were happening in drive-thrus all across America in 2012 (even back then they knew that other countries were unimportant). So naturally they knew that this year must be the bitter end. They decided it and I'm okay with that. Why am I okay with it?
What would you do if you knew the world was ending? I would listen to AC/DC.
I already listen to AC/DC. Here + there. I dabble in it.
ReplyDeleteAh jeez, sorry it happened to you.
ReplyDeletePainful Life Lesson #12: The drive-thru window girl will break her promise, and ruin your life... er, LUNCH. Of course, they never tell you so in school. It's heartbreaking.
I'm here if you need to talk.
I would not clean up the car washes one last time. Nope. I'd say goodbye to friends and family, supposing any of them are still talking to me and not blaming it all on a wrathful God's reaction to my waywardness. I'd listen to some ABBA and some Rodrigo y Gabriela. Then I'd drive to McDonald's and order the biggest, sloppiest burger they've got with super-super-sized fries and lots of ketchup.(Providing, of course, the staff there is spending their last day on Earth serving. And why wouldn't they?) I'd like to be in mid-chew when the Aether catches fire. But, then, I even find myself kinda boring.
ReplyDeletemikespeir, I'm right there with you on the fries. Only, McD's doesn't super-size anymore. But you could (and SHOULD!)order double. Hey, end of the world and it's all your fault - Piles of GREASY french fries will make you feel MUCH better; always works for me.
ReplyDelete(FYI, I know what the aether is, DUH. I know how to google stuff.)